Divorce and Small Children

Divorce and Small Children: The effects on different age groups

Infants

Small children who belong to the age group 0 to 18 months are termed as Infants. It is not possible to explain the purport of divorce to infants. The parents should focus on the following issues.

• Alterations in eating habits of the infant
• Whether the infant has enough bonding time with the parent(s)?
• Whether the infant is having a normal routine?
• Is the infant regularly exposed to friends and family members?

Toddlers cannot grasp the concept of divorce. The parent(s) might observe the following regarding the toddlers.

• Desire for more attention
• Sleeping problems
• Increase in crying

The parent(s) should provide the toddler with routine and frequent quality time with sufficient patience.

Preschool children

Preschool children can understand the meaning of divorce. The parent with whom the child resides must perform the following.

• Assure the child that you would continue to provide, care and love him / her
• Remove any thoughts or fear of uncertainty of the future
• Ensure that the child visits the non custodial parent often (if this is reasonable and possible)
• Inspire the child to speak about his / her feelings

General Tips regarding Divorce and Small Children

• It is essential that the children know that their parents are about to divorce. So, the parent who has done a larger share of the parenting should inform the small children all that is being done
• One parent should never blame the other parent for the divorce in front of the child. If such a talk happens, the child takes sides. Such an occurrence is very unhealthy for the child and may result in future problems
• Each parent must tell the small child that it is not the error of the child that the divorce is taking place
• Every parent must dedicate the required time to answer any questions or queries of the child pertaining to the divorce. In this way, each parent must ascertain that the child has understood what is taking place and what would be its effect on him / her (i.e. the child)

The manner of conversing with small children about divorce

• The prime issue is that the parents must portray a united front. For this, the parents must discuss with one another what should be told to the children and what should be kept secret. When both the parents give same information to the child, the child feels secure
• The parents should never lie to the small children. At the other end, there is no need to reveal minute details. In a nutshell, the parents must depict responsible discretion
• The conversation of either or both parents with the children must always have the following gist
  • Both the parents love the child very much
  • Both the parents are having a difficult phase getting together with one another
  • So, it has been decided that each parent would spend time with the child, however at different times
  • The child would have a special time with his/her father and special time with his / her mother
  When the parents include the above 4 points while taking with small children, the small children, on their own level, are able to grasp what is happening

Divorce Papers