Christian Divorce Counseling
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Selection of counselor for Christian Divorce Counseling
- Biblical counseling trains parents to guide their children. The Bible states that the best method of implementing real change is to counsel the children along with their parents. However, some counselors have a private talk with children and do not involve the parents in this discussion
- The spouse seeking counseling must ask the prospective counselor whether he/she seriously adheres to the commandment "not separate what God has joined together." If yes, then whether this counselor advises the couple together for working towards real changes. It is observed that some counselors split couples to focus on individual issues. This results in the couple moving further apart
- The spouse must access the ABC network to find out a Biblical counseling center in the neighborhood. This center must have some degrees in Biblical counseling and must be offering in-house training
- The counselor must understand the teachings of the Bible that imply that a person is in need of counseling of God and His revealed truth. Such a counselor must be able to indicate real answers. It is undesirable to approach counselors, who believe in self focus and that answers are found within each person
- The counselor must be adequately concerned about change that is honored by God. Several counselors are skillful in diagnosis, but cannot answer the question "how to implement a change?" The result is simply "diagnostic damnation" and this is not desirable
- Sound theology must determine the psychology of the counselor instead of vice versa. Several counselors have views on God, problems and changes that have been developed not by God's word but by pop-psychology and culture. One should not aim to hire such a counselor
- The counselor must be of the opinion that lives are altered as the truth of God's word is applied to the most difficult problems. This truth is disclosed in His words. The counselor must believe that when the real truth is utilized in real problems, it results in real change. The spouse must ask the counselor "whether in the counselor's opinion the Bible is one amongst several truths or is it the most reliable destination for true assistance?"
Common mistakes in Christian Divorce Counseling
- Mixing in the community is an important requirement for the continued growth of the counselee. The counselor should not direct the counselee into loneliness
- Some counselors behave as if they are above the sins committed by the counselee and delicately patronize them
- It is not believed that more knowledge of the Bible falls upon a hard heart. Prayer is the singular method to furrow the soil and this would result in the Word taking root
- It is observed that Christians who read and memorize scriptures all day long show little effect of what they read. This is because their hearts are dead, hardened and dull. The counselor should determine the reason due to which the hearts are wandering and stress on their identity in Christ
- Some counselors keep a safe distance from the counselee fearing that the counselee's disorder may be contagious
- The counselor is excited to be man with all the answers by concentrating on symptoms and common conflicts and employment of problem solving techniques. In this process, he/she does not address the root issues of the matter
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