Pre Divorce Counseling

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Poor communication is the foremost reason for divorce.

Unresolved arguments and conflicts is the second most frequent reason for divorce.

Infidelity is the third.

Let us consider the following statistics.

  • Amongst first marriages, 40 to 50 percent end in divorce
  • Amongst second marriages, 60 percent end in divorce
  • Amongst third marriage, 75 percent end in divorce

The prime intention of counseling before divorce is to avoid being a part of these statistics.

Discussion during Pre Divorce Counseling

Reason that led to the divorce

The first issue in front of the counselor is the cause of the divorce. By means of discussion, the counselor tries to reach the root of the divorce. After the counselor finds out the reason, it becomes possible for the counselor to estimate how the problem progressed and how it would affect future relationships.

Marriage Counseling

This is also a type of pre divorce counseling. The counselor tries to determine if the problems in the marriage are fixable. Further, the counselor attempts to get both the spouses to work together in order to resolve the problems that are harming the marriage.

Family Counseling

This is essential if the spouses seeking divorce have children. The objective of the sessions in this counseling is that each member in the family can express his/her opinion. Further, it is possible to talk regarding the problems that exist in the present scenario. The members can discuss how to collaborate to evolve as a more functional family. Another intention of this counseling is that the children can be conveyed the news of the imminent divorce in a non judgmental and supportive ambience.

What if divorce is the only solution?

Let us consider a situation in which the spouses have discussed all issues with the counselor and it is concluded that for all those involved, divorce is the only solution. The last part of pre divorce counseling is to work with the counselor in order to prepare for the divorce. The counselor can offer guidance in the following areas.

  • What to expect in the days ahead?
  • Coping skills for stress

Some aspects of Counseling before Divorce

The counselors report that couples walk into their office and one of them desires a divorce while the other doesn't. The step of counseling is the final resort prior to embarking on legal steps. The counselors can assist the couple to clear any cobwebs in their minds regarding the following issues.

  • Why the couple is having the present difficulties?
  • Whether the couple is leaving the marriage for the right reasons?
  • Is it likely that the husband/wife would face the same difficulties in the next relationship?
At the end of this divorce counseling, if the couple takes the decision to remain with each other, the counselor can guide them on how to reinforce the marriage. Every couple usually finds it most difficult and risky to open up about certain issues. However, these conversations have the greatest ability to enhance intimacy and eroticism in the marital life.

Another mode of ending the divorce counseling is to decide to divorce. In this case, the counselor can assist in resolution of power struggles or conflicts to opt for separation in an amicable fashion. Lastly, it must be noted that divorce is an expensive issue. On the contrary, counseling and marriage is much cheaper.

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