Children Post Divorce
Divorce Papers > Post Divorce > Children Post Divorce
After divorce, children usually face some parenting conflicts like those mentioned below.
- The father and the mother do not speak with one another
- The mother feels guilty as her new mate sleeps with her when the children are around
- Father becomes angry as his ex-spouse does not inform him that their child is sick
- Mother becomes angry as her ex-spouse does not offer the proper food to their child
- Father becomes angry as his ex-spouse guides him about which food is ideal for the child
- The mother cannot tolerate that her ex-husband is introducing their children to his girlfriend
Mistakes regarding Children Post Divorce
It is generally observed that parents commit the following mistakes regarding children after divorce.
- When the issue is of satisfying the material desires of the child arises, the parents attempt to transform their guilt regarding divorce into overindulgence
- One parent displays such an emotional need of the child, that the child gets a guilty feeling every time he/she desires to spend time or is spending time with the other parent or friends or grandparents or any other person
- As the parent feels lonely or is in need of help, he/she treats the child as an adult
- One parent feels very hurt, lonely and develops a siege mentality. In a nutshell, the parent thinks 'It's us (i.e. parent + child) against the world. As a consequence of this, the parent is too dependent on the child for support and companionship
- If both divorced parents attend any event, the child experiences pressure of the situation. Some such sensitive events are school programs, holidays, birthdays, extracurricular activities and performances
- Let us assume the parents are in a dispute regarding some plan. Then, they coerce the child to choose sides
- Either parent might transfer frustration and feeling of hurt regarding the other parent to the child. The possibility that either parent might behave in such a manner increases when the child physically or behavior-wise resembles the other parent
- Sometimes, one parent utilizes the child to acquire some information regarding the ex-spouse or to influence or to manipulate the ex-spouse
- Some parents utilize the child as a pawn to retaliate or hurt to the other parent
- One parent sabotages the child's relationship with the other parent
Certain aspects of Children Post Divorce
- Some parents are successful in maintaining good relations of care and respect towards the ex-spouse as well as children. Such children feel that their families are normal. These children have a positive outlook towards life
- Children value the respect shown by one parent towards another. The children desire that parental conflict must be minimized. Usually, it is observed that when parents are able to move ahead emotionally post divorce, the children follow their parents in this aspect
- Generally, children seek to acknowledge and accommodate the requirements of other family members. They like to compromise regarding different arrangements pertaining to families
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