Post Divorce Relationships

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Each divorced spouse must keep it in mind to be on one's best behavior post divorce. When these spouses maintain polite conduct they would experience that awkward circumstances have become manageable. It is essential to display tolerance. Each divorced spouse should understand that the annoying and bad habits of his/her ex spouse are now irrelevant in his/her life. At this juncture, it is astute to remember the Golden Rule - 'Do unto others as you would have other do unto you.'

Precepts regarding Post Divorce Relationships

• The couple should create 'divorce vows'. Accordingly, they must promise that they would treat one another with tolerance, compassion, goodwill and respect

• Each partner must decide what is the most productive and positive behavior post divorce. Irrespective of how challenging it is, the partner should try to observe it

• No divorced parent should guide his/her child to keep secrets from the other parent. Keeping secrets is equivalent to teaching them to lie. The parent must ascertain that the child need not have to cover up for what the parent has spoken or done

• Generally, an individual who is angry and hurt due to the divorce will not accept friendly overtures from an ex-spouse. If the ex-spouse realizes that the individual is in grief post divorce, the ex-spouse must make it a point to wait. If he/she rushes to do something, it might be harmful to the healing procedure

• The divorced persons should simply stop blaming the ex-spouse. Irrespective of whether the divorced person voices the blame or retains it to himself/herself, the feeling that the ex-spouse should be blamed would hold him/her back. Verbal blaming would cause harm to the divorced person, the ex-spouse and all other individuals involved in the blame game

• In the presence of his/her children, a divorced person must never voice negative opinions regarding the ex-spouse. In some cases, there is absolutely no contact between the divorced individuals. Then, they should not express any opinion about their ex-spouse or speak positively. This attitude would permit the children to develop their own opinion about the parents

Post Divorce Relationships with former in-laws

When a divorce is granted by the court, this does not mean that the divorced spouses must stop all friendship and communication with the former in-laws. One can understand that immediately after the divorce, this sort of communication is a tough task. So, it is quite justifiable to wait for some time and then resume contact.

The divorced parents should realize that each connection they retain offers a greater possibility of love and security for their children. So, these parents must respect the feelings of the in-laws regarding the relationship. While communication is going on between these two parties, they must avoid speaking about the divorce or sensitive topics related to the ex-spouse. The divorced parents must think and decide for themselves the topics they would get involved in and those they would not comment on. This would obviously result in alleviation of any existing tension.

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